


Line in the Sand

by AGJ1990



Series: Evelyn Winchester [26]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby threatens to shoot John, Flagstaff, Guilty John Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Protective Bobby Singer, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Runs Away, Spanking, implied spanking of a teenager, non consensual spanking of a minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 19:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14002656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGJ1990/pseuds/AGJ1990
Summary: When Sam runs away to Flagstaff with Evy, John's jealousy over their relationship explodes, and he does something that changes the family dynamics.





	Line in the Sand

**Author's Note:**

> The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**John**

            That car ride was the longest of my life, and that’s something to say. At that point, I’d been hunting for more than thirteen years, and I was used to a long car ride with kids. What got to me was the near complete silence. You were asleep in the backseat, resting up against Sam’s side. You were the only one in the car that looked peaceful. Sam held an arm around you, staring out the window looking angry and hurt. It wasn’t really Sam I was concerned with right then. I knew what I was going to do with him. I was angry at him too, but the car ride was calming me down.

What concerned me was you. Had Sam told you that you two were running away? Had you figured it out at some point? I wondered what I should do about you. You were only four years old. There was no way you had as much culpability in this as Sam did, but the questions were still there. Did you deserve to be punished for this at all? Or should I just let you off with a stern warning that if you ran away with Sam again you would be? I missed your mom so bad right then. If she had still been alive, it never would have happened. She never would have let things get so bad between me and Sam. Sam and I had been getting at each other’s throats more and more lately. Mostly over how Sam said I treated you-too harshly, always losing patience with you over nothing.

            Maybe he was right. But things being bad, at least in my mind, did not excuse Sam taking you and running. That had to be addressed. And it would be. But I was still stuck on what to do with you. I ended up deciding to have Dean take you out of the house somewhere while I dealt with Sam. Whether they’d end up being better or worse, I didn’t know. But they’d be different.

**Dean**

            When we pulled up to the house, Dad told Sam to go inside. We’d been driving through the night, and you were still sleeping. Sam unbuckled his seat belt, and started to unbuckle you too. Dad even scared me with what he said next.

“Sam, leave your sister in the car. She doesn’t need to be here for this.”

            I was surprised when Sam didn’t argue, just leaned over and kissed your forehead. He told you he loved you, and the way he said it I think he thought that it might be the last time he got to say it for a while. He opened the car door and gently pushed it shut so he wouldn’t wake you up. He made his way into the house, and me and dad were left in the car.

“Dad…”

“He’s got to be punished for this.” Dad said without looking at me.

“And I’m not arguing with you about that. But no disrespect, sir, are you calm enough to do this?” I asked.

“Yes.” Dad said.

“Dad, look, we’re all exhausted, maybe we should get some sleep first…” I tried.

“No, Dean. I’m dealing with this now. I’ll give Sam a chance to explain, but I’m dealing with this now. We’ll all sleep better once I do.” Dad said.

 _Sorry, Sam, I tried._ I thought. “Okay, dad.”

“I want you to take your sister somewhere.” Dad said.

“How long?”

“Two hours.” Dad said.

“Two…Dad…” I said, my heart dropping to my stomach.

“I’m gonna spend most of it talking to Sam, Dean. I swear.” Dad said. I didn’t know whether or not to really believe him, but I didn’t have much choice. Dad then gave me my instructions. “If she wakes up, just tell her you’re bringing her home soon.”

“Okay, Dad.” I said.

“Here.”

Dad handed me the keys to Baby. I slid over to the driver’s seat and watched him go in the front door. I looked at you for a second, still sleeping in the backseat. I wished Sam good luck under my breath, then drove off with you.

**John**

            I punished Sam while Dean took you somewhere. It was long and it was hard, but it still had to be done. I hated it, hearing Sam cry like that, but I don’t regret it. He was fourteen. Running away with you was stupid and reckless, and could have gotten you both hurt. I don’t regret the punishment, but I do regret what happened after.

            I gave Sam a chance to talk. I asked him why he’d done it. Why he hadn’t just talked to me if something was bothering him. At first he didn’t want to talk, telling me that I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I wasn’t mad anymore. I was concerned. I wanted to know what had happened, what exactly had gotten so bad that Sam had felt the need to take you and run. I really did want to hear what it was Sam had to say. Or so I thought.             Sam finally started talking.  And the more he talked, the madder I got. He told me that he’d run to get you away from me. That I was way too impatient with you. That you were afraid of me, constantly wondering if you were going to get in trouble with me simply for being a kid. I know now that he wasn’t trying to make me feel like a lousy father. He was trying to open my eyes, show me that I was pushing him and you away from me. He was trying to save the relationship I had with the two of you. If only I’d seen that then.

            I slammed my hand against the wall to stop Sam from talking. Sam was seated on one end of the couch, me on the other. I didn’t punish Sam again, even though I wanted to. What he’d said hurt, and I wanted to prove him wrong. I walked over and got right in Sam’s face.

“Listen to me, and listen to me good. You and your sister are done. You are done caring for her. I don’t trust you to do it anymore. From now on, she stays with me or Dean. If we’re hunting, she goes to Bobby’s and you come with us.”

Sam started crying, harder than he had before. That’s what struck me the most. The possibility of losing the hold he had on you was more scary to him than I was. The state of mind I was in right then, that wasn’t acceptable to me.

“Did your sister know what you were doing?”

“What?” Sam asked. “What do you mean?”

“Did your sister know that the two of you were running away?” I asked again.

“Dad, please. Please don’t do anything to her.” Sam begged.

“Did she know?” I asked again. “I won’t ask you again.”

“No, sir. She didn’t know.” Sam said. “I told her you sent me ahead with her and that you’d come for us one day.”

“And she believed you?”

“Yes, sir. Dad, please. Please don’t punish her for this….” Sam begged me again.

“I’m going to ask her when she comes back. If she tells me a different story, not only will I punish you again, I’ll punish her too. Do you understand me, son?” I asked.

“Yes, sir.” Sam said.

            At that moment, the door opened, and in walked you and Dean. Dean was carrying you, and you looked like you’d been crying. My guess was that Dean had told you Sam ran away. As soon as you saw Sam, you started squirming in Dean’s arms. Dean set you down, and you ran right over to Sam.

“Sammy!”

Sam hugged you, and I backed away for a minute. “Hey, baby.”

“Evelyn, come here.” I said, in my most authoritative voice. “Sam, go to your room.”

Sam hugged you tighter to him. “Dad, please…”

“NOW!” I said, shouting.

Sam swallowed and kissed your cheek. “I love you. No matter what, I love you.”

            Sam finally got up and walked towards his room. The only thing I had on my mind right then was reasserting my role in this family. I saw him wiping tears as he walked away. Dean even looked scared at this point. I started to tell him to leave too. I don’t know what made me not do it, but I’m glad I didn’t.

“Daddy?” You asked me, your bottom lip trembling. “Am I in trouble?”

“I don’t know that yet. But you and me have to have a talk. Get over here now.” I said.

“Dad…” “Dean, I’ve got this.” I said, and Dean stood by the wall and shut up.

            You walked over and stood in front of me, holding Squish in your arms like a life vest. You were trying not to cry. I wish I’d stopped myself then, but I didn’t. Dean looked like he wanted to. But he didn’t either. He watched me closely, but he didn’t stop me.

“Evelyn, did you know Sammy was running away?” I asked.

“No, daddy, I didn’t know.” You said.

“What did he tell you?” I asked.

“That you told him to take me somewhere safe and that you were coming for us soon.” You told me.

Even though that story matched Sam’s, it sounded a little too rehearsed to me. “You didn’t know anything about it?”

“No. Daddy, I promise I didn’t.” You said to me.

I grabbed your arm, hard, and pulled you closer to my face. “If I find out you’re lying to me, little girl, I will blister your butt until you can’t sit down for a month. Then I will punish Sam all over again. Do you understand me?”

You were crying again, pushing at my hand, trying to pry my fingers loose from your arm. “Daddy, you’re hurting me.”

Normally, that would’ve stopped me cold. I saw Dean move from the wall, but my anger and fear overrode all my common sense at that point. I had to keep you and Sam safe. I had to make sure you knew that you had to listen to me, no matter what. Even if it meant hurting you. “I said, do you understand me? Answer me. Now.”

“I understand. Daddy, please let me go.” You begged me.

“Dad…” Dean said.

“Dean, stand down. That’s an order.” I turned back to you. I loosened my grip on your arm but didn’t turn you loose yet. “Little girl, listen to me and listen to me good. Sam is not taking care of you anymore. From now on, you’re to stay with me or Dean. You are not allowed to be alone with Sam. If Dean and I go on a hunt, you’re going to uncle Bobby’s and Sam is staying with us.”

“Daddy, no!” You begged, crying all over again. “No, no, please, please don’t take Sammy away from me daddy, please!”

I landed one hard swat on your butt, though you were so upset it didn’t seem to faze you. “You don’t tell me no, little girl. Now go to your room.”

“Daddy, please…” You begged me again.

“Give me Squish.”

That made you stop begging and crying. “Daddy…”

“I’m getting real tired of repeating myself with you. Give. Me. Squish. Now.” I said, clenching my teeth. You handed him over slowly, your hands shaking as you did. I snatched him away from you. “You can have Squish back when you learn to listen to me. The first time.”

“No, please….” You said again, and you were starting to panic.

“Kiddo.” Dean said, walking over and taking your arm gently. “It’s about time for your nap, okay? Go on to bed. I’ll come lay down with you until you go to sleep.”

“Deanie…” You said.

“It’s okay. Go on.” Dean said.

You gave up your fight and started walking away, still crying and sniffling. Something in me broke at that. You listening to Dean and not me? In my mind, if I didn’t teach you to listen to me too, it would end up getting you killed one day. I decided I had to nip it in the bud right then.

“Come back here.”

“Dad, she’s had enough…” Dean tried.

“I’ll decide that. Evelyn, get back here. Now.” You walked back over to me, shaking harder. I grabbed your arm again. “I am your father. You will learn to listen to me. You will do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir. Daddy, I’m sorry.”

“Too late for sorry.” I said.

            That’s when it started. I’ve been a hunter for a long time. You’d think my worst mistake would be something like accidentally killing someone, or making the wrong call on a hunt, or maybe even leaving you, Dean, and Sam behind so much. But it wasn’t. It was what happened next. I was so determined to show you that I had absolute control, that I didn’t realize that I was doing exactly what Sam had accused me of. Being the worst father in existence. I pulled you over my knee and started swatting you. It was the hardest I’d ever spanked you before. You were kicking and screaming and crying, begging me to stop, but I kept on. I’d only swatted you a few times when I felt it. You kicked hard enough that you got loose from my knee. I grabbed you and tried to pull you back up, but you twisted away from me hard. You turned around and that’s when it happened. It took me a minute to realize what I’d done, but when I did see it, I felt sick to my stomach.

            I’d slapped you in the face, hard enough to see a handprint there right away.

**Dean**

            I saw it a split second before it happened. You were moving away from dad, facing him rather lying over his knee like you had been before. I saw him draw his hand back, and I saw it come down, but I didn’t stop it. I froze. I just couldn’t believe what was about to happen. That’s no excuse, I know. And I’m so sorry I didn’t do anything, baby girl. When I heard it, though, I jumped into action. I stepped between you and Dad, but Dad wasn’t doing anything anyway. He was frozen too. You had a hand to your cheek, but I saw it too. Dad’s handprint.

“Hey. Baby girl, look at me. Look at me.” You were crying so hard now I thought you’d be sick. “Let me see.”

You pulled your hand away and I had to fight from jumping up and decking Dad. “It hurts, Deanie.”

“I know. I’m gonna take care of it, okay? I’ll take care of it.” I said. “Come here, baby girl.”

            I picked you up and held you. You couldn’t stop crying, and your arms went around my neck and squeezed. You were shaking so hard that I was too. I was rubbing your back and bouncing you up and down, like I’d done a few times when you were really little. I turned around and saw Dad still standing there. At that point, I didn’t give a damn about following orders. “Dad, you should take a walk.” Dad just nodded and walked out the front door, and I took you into your room. “It’s okay, baby girl.”

            I set you on your bed, and you immediately went to lay on your stomach. I knew I needed to work on your cheek, but I hadn’t heard Baby drive away yet. Dad was sitting on the porch. I leaned down and told you,

“I’ll be back, baby. Okay?”

“Don’t leave me.” You begged.

“I swear to you, I’ll be right back. I’m just going to the front porch. Okay?” I said. “I’ll be back.”

            I didn’t wait for you to answer, just went outside. I checked on Sam first. He was lying in bed, covers over his head. I knew he was probably faking sleep, but I didn’t make him tell me. I shut his bedroom door and went out. Dad was sitting in Baby’s passenger seat, staring at the ground.

“Dad?”

“Is she okay?” Dad asked.

My mouth dropped open. _Are you kidding?_ I thought. “No, sir. No, she’s not.”

“How bad is she hurt?”

“She’s got a handprint on her face, Dad. The whole side of her face. She says it still hurts, it’s probably bruised.” I said.

“Dean, was I too hard on them?” Dad asked.

I couldn’t believe he was actually asking me that. “Are you serious, Dad?”

“I know…I know I went overboard with your sister. I’m talking about Sam and this whole…situation. Is this my fault?” Dad asked.

“Do you really want me to be honest with you about that?” I asked Dad. “Even if you don’t like the answer?”

Dad nodded.

“Yes. Yes, sir, it’s your fault.”

Dad looked up at me, surprised.

“It’s not _all_ your fault. Sam running away is on Sam. That was stupid, and reckless. It could’ve ended with both of them hurt, or maybe taken by CPS and split up. So no, I don’t think you were too hard on Sam. You needed to be hard on him. But Sam making the decision to run away, that is on you.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Dad asked. He wasn’t mad or annoyed anymore, he was hurt.

I took a deep breath and explained. I actually felt sorry for Dad now. He was just trying to do the best he could to keep us safe. Yeah, that meant being hard on us from time to time, maybe even too hard. But it was time that Dad learned something. Being hard on us didn’t have to mean crossing the line like he had tonight. Dad had to learn to be more gentle with you and Sam. I’d tell him now what he needed to hear, but I was already planning on calling some backup.

“Dad, Sam has been taking care of Evy since day one. Since before day one, really. He loves her more than he loves himself. He always does right by her. But for the last two years or so, you don’t seem to appreciate that. You don’t tell him he’s done a good job on anything. You do that with me all the time.” Dad didn’t say anything, so I kept going. “And as for Evy? Dad, I get it, that you’re gonna have to train her one day. But dad, she is still a baby. You didn’t start training Sam until he was nine. She ain’t even half that. You already told her monsters are real. Let her be a kid for a while.”

“How do I fix this?” Dad asked.

“You can’t. Not right now.” I told him. “You need to go. I don’t care where, but just go. Baby girl needs some space from you right now.”

“Okay.” Dad said.

“And Dad? Everything Sam’s been trying to tell you about how you treat Evy? It’s true. She’s afraid to do anything around you because she’s afraid she’ll get in trouble with you. All she wants is your attention and approval. She wants you to hold her a little, tell her she’s a good kid. And she is. But she’s terrified of you.” I said. “While you’re gone, you should probably think about that.”

            Dad nodded, and got out of the passenger seat. He walked around and got in the driver’s seat. I dug in my pocket and threw him the keys. I had put the house phone in my pocket, and got it out. I watched until Dad was out of sight, and then made a call. Once I hung up, I went inside to you. You were still laying on your bed. You’d stopped crying, but you were still whimpering. I couldn’t tell if it was because you were hurting, scared, or both. I walked over and touched your shoulder. You jumped, but relaxed when you turned and saw me.

“Sit up, baby girl. I need to look at your cheek.”

As you did sit up, you asked me, “Is daddy still here?”

“No. I sent him away.” I said.

“Why?” You asked.

I stopped looking at your cheek and I grabbed your hand. “Because he hurt you. For no good reason. And that’s not gonna happen anymore.”

“He scare me, Deanie.” You said, starting to cry again.

“I know, baby girl. I know. But things are gonna change starting today, alright? I swear to you.” I said.

“How do you know that?” You asked me, wiping your face. “Daddy makes the rules.” “Yeah, but I called for backup. Uncle Bobby’s on his way, he’s gonna tell Daddy to back off.” I told you.

“How do you know he’ll listen to uncle Bobby?” You asked me. “They fight sometimes too.”

“Because if he doesn’t,” I said, wiping your face for you, “I’m taking you and Sam and we’re going to uncle Bobby’s house. But Daddy will never, ever hurt you again. Okay?”

“Okay.” You told me, and I think you were just about as sad as I’ve ever heard you.

“I’m gonna go get the stuff to fix your cheek, okay?”

You said ‘okay’ back so quietly that I barely heard you, so I kissed your cheek and got up. As I left to go to the kitchen to get the med kit, you got my attention.

“Deanie? Can I go see Sammy?”

I thought about saying yes, but decided against it; Sam was in no shape to see anyone just then. “Sam’s asleep, baby girl. Maybe later, okay?”

“Can I have Squish back?” You asked.

I smiled at you, you smiled back. “You bet, baby girl.”

            I went to the living room, grabbed Squish, and handed him back to you. You took him out of my hands and squeezed him so tight I thought his eyes would bulge out of his head. I went to the kitchen and thought about making an ice pack, but decided against it. You would hate that. Instead, I got a pack of frozen vegetables, came in, and placed it gently to your cheek. You didn’t say anything, but I could tell you still had something on your mind.

“Talk to me, baby girl.” I said.

You thought about it first, then asked me, “Can you miss someone you never met?”

The question threw me. “I guess so. Why?”

You said something then that just about shattered my heart to pieces. You squeezed Squish again, and looked away from me. I checked your cheek, and the little bit of swelling that had started seemed to be going down. I put the vegetables back to your cheek and started to ask again. But you said it. You said it, and I wanted to cry now too.

“Because I want my mommy.”

I took the vegetables away from your cheek and started at you for a minute. I wasn’t sure what to say, but I figured it out quickly enough. I got up on the bed next to you, pulled you into a hug, and said honestly,

“You know what, kiddo? I want your mommy too.”

**Bobby**

I hung up the phone with Dean, cussing up a storm at your dad. I got my shotgun and my pistol, threw ‘em in the trunk with me, and started driving. I was only about an hour away, but I’d be damned if it was going to take that long.

            I thought about my own dad as I drove. John reminded me a little too much of him at times. He was way, way too hard on all three of you. I just about took you away from him the year before this happened, when he told you the truth about monsters and you weren’t even four yet. But Sam took care of you that night, so I left it alone, thinking that as long as Sam was around, you’d be okay. Now John was threatening to take Sam from you? After taking just about your only toy in the world _and_ slapping you in the face? To hell with him.

“I’m coming, Baitfish. Uncle Bobby’s got you. I’m coming.”

**John**

            I don’t know how long I stayed in that bar, but it wasn’t long enough. I really thought about leaving and not coming back, but I couldn’t abandon you and your brothers. Even if I would be completely useless as a father from this point forward. It was the middle of the afternoon now, so there wasn’t really anyone in the bar. A familiar voice came up behind me.

“Somehow figured I’d find you here.”

I took the last sip of the beer I was on. “Did Dean call you?”

“Don’t make a damn bit of difference who the hell called me. Get your ass outside.” Bobby told me.

“Look, Bobby…”

“I said, get your ass outside. Before I knock you out and do it for you.” he said.

I knew better than to mess with Bobby, because he would make good on his threat. I paid my tab and walked out with him. As soon as we did, Bobby grabbed me, pulled me into the alley next to the bar, pulled a knife out of his pocket, and put it to my throat. I was, to say the least, surprised. I knew he was pissed, but this?

“Bobby, what the hell?” I asked.

“What the hell is right! What the hell did you do to Baitfish?” he asked.

“Bobby, I…I…”

“Forget it, I know what the hell you did! Dean told me!” Bobby yelled. “You son of a bitch.”

“She needs to learn to listen to me, Bobby.” I said, trying to justify it, even though I knew I couldn’t. “Hitting her in the face was an accident.”

“Why the hell were you hitting her in the first place?” Bobby said.

“I told you…” “That kid _does_ listen to you, asshole. When she’s not out of her mind _afraid_ of you.”

That broke me. “God, Bobby, what the hell have I done?”

“No. No, you listen to me right now, you son of a bitch. I ain’t here to coddle you. I don’t give a damn how you feel right now. You gon’ listen to me, and listen good. You hear me?” Bobby said, the knife still to my throat.

“Yeah.”

“I will be up your ass for the foreseeable future. You can either pack those kids up and come to my house or I’ll move in with you. Either way, you’re the one that ain’t gonna be alone with them.” Bobby said.

“Okay.” I said.

“And you will apologize to Baitfish. And Sam.” Bobby said. “Dean was right. You were right to punish him for running away, but everything else that happened is your own screw up. And until I believe you’ve seen that, really seen it, your kids are my kids. Catch my drift?”

“Yes.” I said.

“Good. Couple more things. You ain’t taking Sam away from Baitfish. That whole decision boils on jealousy. You don’t like that Baitfish is closer to Sam than to you. Well, that’s your own damn fault. You’re gonna tell Sam that Baitfish is his responsibility from now on. She gets in trouble for something, he takes care of it.”

“Sam won’t do that…” I objected.

“You know as well as I do that if you so much as look at that kid sideways she falls apart. If she does something dangerous, something she knew she shouldn’t have been doing, then she gets a spanking from Sam, Dean, or me. Not you. You don’t know how to cool your temper enough.” Bobby said. “Anything else, Sam handles it. His way. Understand that?”

“Yeah. I got it.” I said.

“And finally,” Bobby said, “I ever get a call from any of your kids that you’ve done this again, I take this knife and I send you to hell with it before you so much as know I’m in the room.”

“Bobby, I got it. I do, okay? Just take the knife away.” I asked.

            Bobby did, and we left to go back to the house. He was right about keeping on my ass; he tailgated me the whole way. I pulled into the driveway, and Bobby got out first. He opened my door and pulled me out when I hesitated. I walked inside, and found you sitting on the couch with Squish in your lap. You looked panicked when you saw me.

“Deanie gave him to me, Daddy. He said it was okay…”

“Shhh. It’s alright, little one. It is okay.” I said. You relaxed but still looked scared. “Look who came home with me.”

You looked over and saw Bobby standing there, and your face lit up in a smile like you’d just won the lottery. “Uncle Bobby!”

“Hey, Baitfish. How you doing?” he asked as he picked you up.

“I’m okay.” You said, burying your face in his neck. My heart twisted painfully; I wanted you to want to be that close to me.

“Really?” Bobby said. “Let me look at you.”

            You looked up and Bobby examined your cheek without telling you that’s what he was doing. I guess he didn’t want to embarrass you by asking you about it directly. I got my first good look at it. It had faded a little, but you could still clearly see finger marks there. It also looked a little swollen, but my guess was that Dean had given you ice to put on it and it would have been much worse if he’d left it alone. Bobby shot me a dirty look and then put you back down. Dean had come in by then. “Hey, Bobby.”

“Hey Deano.” Bobby said. “Where’s Sam?”

“He’s in his room.” Dean answered.

“Go get him for me, Dean. All of us need to have a long talk.” I said. Dean seemed uncertain and looked to Bobby. “Just talk, Dean. I swear.”

            Bobby nodded, and Dean went to Sam’s room to get him. I heard Sam make a light protest, but eventually he came in the room. I noticed he was walking stiffly, and that old familiar guilt of how harsh I felt I needed to be with you guys reasserted itself. No matter how badly or roughly I treated you three, I wish I could convince you of one thing. I never, ever stopped caring about and loving all of you. I just wish I knew how to show it better.

“Sammy!” You said, excited.

You started to run to him, then looked at me. I nodded and you ran into his arms. Sam held you tight, like he wasn’t sure when he’d ever see you again. I gave you two a minute, then started to tell you to go to the couch; Bobby was throwing me another nasty look, so I thought better of it and asked you both nicely to go the couch. Sam picked you up and walked over, sitting down very gingerly on the couch with you. You clutched Squish and sat on Sam’s lap, both of you waiting to see what I had to say. Dean stayed in the position he’d been in earlier, and Bobby stood next to him. I went to the only chair in the room, keeping distance between me and you. I figured I’d scared you enough.

“I owe you both an apology.” You both seemed surprised, so I kept explaining. “Sam, I’ll start with you. You _were_ wrong to run away. I don’t take that back. I know you think you aren’t, but you’re way too young to be on your own. It could have gotten you and your sister hurt. Do you understand that?”

Sam looked disappointed, like I’d just promised something that was too good to be true. “Yes, sir.”

“But I was wrong too. I get it now, Sam. I drove you away. I made you think you had to protect your sister from me, and I know I also made you think that was the only way to do it. That’s going to change. After I apologize to your sister, I’ll explain exactly what that means. Okay?”

Sam seemed surprised, but he was quick to take it. “Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“Little one, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that spanking today, and you definitely didn’t deserve me hitting your face like that. Or taking Squish from you. Things are gonna change for you too, okay? I promise. But I need you to know. I am really, really sorry, little one.” I said.

You were usually so forgiving, that I realized all over again how bad I’d hurt you when you leaned back against Sam and started biting your lip. Sam wrapped his arms around you, and that’s when you said it.

“You hurt me, Daddy. You really hurt me.”

I swallowed hard. “I know, little one. I’m sorry.” You nodded and looked away.

“You said things were going to change, Dad.” Sam said. “What did you mean?”

“I’m not keeping you two apart. In fact, I’m putting you two even closer together. Sam, from now on, your sister’s your responsibility. You know her better than any of us do. Dean, you’re moving out of your and Sam’s room and Evy’s moving in with Sam.” I told them.

Sam looked relieved, and he hugged you close. “Thank you, Dad.” “That means something though, Sam. Dean and I will still be here to help, but you have to make decisions about your sister. Unless it’s absolutely necessary, I won’t overrule you.” I said.

Sam nodded. “I understand that. Thanks, Dad.”

“What does all that mean?” You asked from Sam’s lap.

“It means Sam’s the one taking care of you, baby girl.” Dean said.

You looked at me and said, “But you’ll still be my Daddy, right?”

“Yes, little one. Always.” I said.

“And you still my brother too, right, Deanie?” You asked.

“You bet, kiddo.”

“Your daddy just needs some help figuring out how to take care of you the right way, Baitfish. Me, Dean, and Sam are gonna help him do that.” Bobby explained.

“What happens if I do something bad?” You asked, clutching Squish tighter.

“That’s not possible. Because you’re such a good kid.” I said, getting a small smile out of you. “But if you break a rule, Sam takes care of it. Not me.”

“So I don’t get spankings no more?” You asked hopefully.

“We didn’t say that.” Bobby said. “If you do something dangerous that you already knew you weren’t supposed to do, you get a spanking from me, from Dean, or from Sam. But not your Dad.”

“Anything else, it’s up to Sam.” I said.

“So, you not taking Sammy away form me? Or Squish?” You asked.

“No, little one.” I said. “No, I’m not taking them away from you.” “And you won’t be scary with me no more?”

            The way you said it broke my damn heart all over again. I hated feeling this vulnerable. It made me feel weak-like I couldn’t protect you or your brothers. But you brought it out in me. Your innocence, despite knowing some of what was out there. Your heart, so tender and full of joy, which you tried to share with everyone around you. Especially me. Never before that moment had I realized exactly how much of a blessing you were. How much I didn’t deserve you.

“No little one. I won’t be scary any more. If I slip up and forget, you tell me.” I said.

“If he slips up and forgets,” Bobby said, “you tell _me_ , Baitfish. Or have Dean or Sam call and tell me. Okay?”

“Okay, uncle Bobby. I will.” You said.

“It’s almost time for your bath, Cricket. Why don’t you go get your PJs?” Sam suggested.

“Okay.” You wrapped your arms around Sam’s neck. “I’m glad I got you back, Sammy. I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you too, baby.” Sam said.

            I got up and walked to the kitchen. You and Sam had only been apart for a few hours, but the way you held him it was like you thought you were both lost forever. I felt that familiar jealousy coming up, the one that Bobby had warned me about, so I separated myself from you guys. I stood at the kitchen sink and put a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the sob I felt coming.

            I jumped when I felt a hand on my knee. You were standing there, looking up to me. I bent down and looked at you. I was happy when you didn’t flinch or back away from me, though I would have understood if you had.

“Don’t be sad, Daddy.” You told me. You put a hand to my cheek, like Sam did for you when you were upset. “I still love you.”

I laughed in relief; that was exactly what I had wanted to hear. I kissed your hand and told you, “I loved you too. So much, little one.”

“Do you need a hug?” You asked me.

“I’d love a hug from you.” I said. As you put those arms around my neck, I told you, and I meant it, “I’ll do better, little one. I swear.

            And for a while, I did. With Sam taking care of you, you were happier and more content. You were already smart for your age, but with Sam not having to focus so much on training, you started to take off. He started teaching you how to read, and in three weeks, you were reading perfectly. We pulled up into a motel parking lot, and I heard you begging Sam to let you read to him that night. I parked the car before he could answer you.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, little one?” I asked.

“Can I go with you to get the room?” You asked me.

That was the first time I knew that Bobby’s idea was working. You never really wanted to spend time with me before. If I’m completely honest about it, I’d never really asked you if you wanted to spend time with me before. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and said,

“Sure, little one. Come on.”

            When we got out of the car, it was dark, so I picked you up and carried you inside. My beard was growing in pretty thick, so you started to stroke it. When I asked you what you were doing, it made me laugh.

“It feels like Squish, Daddy.”

I was laughing at your answer when we walked in. The guy behind the counter greeted us.

“Hey, folks, I’m Lenny. You checking in?”


End file.
